The Submissive Wife

Ephesians  5: 22-24
     For wives, this means submit to your husband as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Colossians 3:18
       Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

 Proverbs 31 doesn't come out and say that one should be a submissive wife. In fact I don't think it says that at all, although through the actions of a Godly wife, she is being submissive. This is were my journey really started and is something I continuously work on.

The first time I heard that a Godly wife was submissive I almost freaked, of course this was before I had read what the Bible says. Before I read the Bible I had this worldly view of being submissive. And I won't lie, some BDSM romance novel came to mind. That is not what I wanted out of my marriage, to be told what to do and become some type of slave (no pun intended). Ew No!

I think when people hear "you should submit to your husband" they have one of two reactions, and both are at opposite ends of the extreme.

One extreme is the "I man. You do as i says." Very cave man like if you ask me, and yes I know a few guys like this. In fact I have a close friend that is in a relationship like this. She does everything simply because 'she's the women, that's her job' and it doesn't work. Not because she doesn't want to do it but because it hurts her feels and degrades her. This is everywhere in society, no matter how hard women fight to have equality, men are still seen as being in charge (and I'm not saying women shouldn't be equal). This doesn't just go for husbands, but fathers to children also. I've seen my biological father punish my younger sisters 'because you did wrong and I'm the man of the house. I say your in trouble....'. Yes WE understand but sometimes a little respect, explanation, and appreciation goes a long ways. Husbands, she probably wouldn't mind doing things, not because she's the women and that's her place, but because you show appreciation and reward her for doing so much.

My Mother was raised in the south. She was raised with this attitude that the man decides everything no questions asked and you do as your father says because he's the man no questions asked. Having the rebellious streak she has, she went the opposite end of things. The extreme of the independent women. She told me growing up that I shouldn't depend on a man. For emotional support, for money, for absolutely nothing. I should be able to take care of myself, and if I have a man in my life great, but also be able to care for yourself if he leaves.

This is everywhere in society!!! Music about I'm the women and I get to choose. I don't need you. In movies you see where women don't need a man. Why be tied down when I can have my freedom and sex at the same time? We encourage our young ladies to get an education and then settle down and have children. Because what? Education is suppose to be more important? Why can't I get an education and be married? Why can't I work and be an amazing wife? I think YOU can do it all, if you set your mind to it and it is in Gods plans for you.

What happened to the balance of both? I take care of myself and I could financially if I had to but I also depend on my husband a lot and I let him be the deciding factor in almost everything.

You see, I'm aiming to be a better wife in the eye of God. For God, for my husband and so my children know what it is and what it looks like to be a Godly wife. I submit and by this I mean I take care of my house, which means my husband. I cook, clean, and everything else that runs the house. I'm not saying he can't help or do these things but Wives we have to take the responsibility. If you have to work, that's okay, you can still do these things and work. In Proverbs it talks about waking up at dawn and working into the wee hours of the night. It says in verse 17, "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker". It's hard but I promise you can do it.

I love to hear my husband say, "the house looks nice babe" when he gets home from work. I love when he goes to make his lunch for work, and it's already made for him. I love to do anything that pleases him, because the happiness I see is plenty of a reward (sometimes I even get a foot rub).

Submitting isn't just about the physical aspect of caring for your husband, but also letting him lead in the choices you make as a household. This is where great communication comes in. We have been together for eight years and it's still hard sometimes. When I'm making choices on where the money goes, if we should have another child, or maybe get a dog; I always discuss them with my husband. When I'm making plans, I'll run it by him to see if that's okay. ALWAYS seeing what he thinks and wants to do. If he says "No Megan we are not getting a dog", then we aren't getting a dog. Of course he always explains and there is a lot more going on then just a simple no, but you get the point. All this doesn't mean that you can't say no. I always give my opinion and if I really don't want to do something I'll let him know.

I love to please my husband. I love letting him be the man to make decisions. We have a great relationship that has lasted eight years and is still going strong. This is were I started on my journey to becoming a Godly wife. I feel this is an easy place to start. You can begin by doing little things, like making his lunch the night before so he can take it to work, or doing one more chore then you usually do. Do something that might make him happy, just because. We as women need to stop trying to 'wear the pants in the relationship' and let the husband lead. Once I stopped trying to wear the pants, everything started to get better, in my relationship and in myself.

We were made FOR the man, let him come first as he always has, and serve him.

I hope you enjoyed my rant and I hope you let me know what you think. I would like to continue these and my journey to being a Godly wife. It is a never ending journey but I know that I will fail. I can only pray that God helps me through it. I would also love to hear stories or answer any questions.