Be Faithful. Have sex..w/ your husband!!!

 

Proverbs 31:11 says, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value”.

 This passage is talking about trust, but I believe that the trust goes more than with everyday things (trusting you paid that bill, or whatever). I believe that a wife also needs to be trusted in the bedroom.

 In today’s society, everyone seems to be cheating on everyone. Most of the time passages about being faithful are directed to the men, but today it’s just as much the woman cheating as the man. Hebrews 13: 4 says, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

 I see so often from the people I have met or know, where a spouse cheats, and this ends up tearing the couple apart. How can we get away from that though when we see girls showing more skin then they should be, or trying to lure the male in? How can we teach our children not to cheat while getting a divorce caused by cheating? How can we get away from this if sex is everywhere and not held to a biblical standard?  Women are taught that it’s okay to use your body to get who you want and when you want, as long as it’s your choice. That’s not right!!

“The words of an immoral woman may be as sweet as honey and as smooth as olive oil. But all that you really get from being with her is bitter poison and pain,” Proverbs 5:3-4. Proverbs goes on to say, “Don’t go crazy over a women who is unfaithful to her own husband! The Lord sees everything and he watches us closely,” in versus 20-21. I think these two versus go well together, it shows what an unfaithful women looks like then shows you to not follow, especially if she is married. But like I said, this is about the women cheating, and these two versus are all the same but with man replacing woman.

 

I’d like to say it’s simple, to just not cheat. Don’t do it. Don’t cheat emotionally or physically but there is more to it. Mathew 5:28 says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”. What I get out of this is that when you look at another person and think they are hot, or look at porn, it’s sinning. This is hard to do, I’m guilty. You see a hot hunk of a guy walk by and make a comment to your girlfriend about getting him in bed. It’s hard not to lust after guys, especially of the Hollywood type. They made a whole movie about male strippers with some of the hottest actors. IT’S HARD!! It’s hard not to lust after men when ads feature them half naked, and they are everywhere (the ads not the overly attractive men). This is something I’m working on, and so is my husband. When you become conscious of how many times you think a male is hot or read a romance novel and day dream about the male character, it’s shocking how you are constantly thinking those types of thoughts. It amazes me who when I go anywhere, I will almost always spot a guy I think is cute, but now that I know where those thoughts lead and how it is a sin, I stop them immediately.  Half the time I don’t even look at guys anymore, because it’s not good.

 So now that we know there is a problem, not just within ourselves but also in society; how do we change it? SEX!!! Duh!!!! I know it sounds simple, but it’s in the top five reasons why people get divorced.  I understand that after a long day with work and kids, you don’t want to. I once went to a seminar and the speaker said that you should, even if you don’t want to. If you would just make yourself once, it can rekindle the spark. Just like that!! Like they say, It Only Takes One Time!!! Haha ok but in all seriousness, we have to have sex with our husbands!! Because you know what happens when you don’t, they go look for it elsewhere.  I’m not saying that is right, I’m not trying to make excuses, it’s just fact.

I leave with this,

 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control”

Did you notice how God already knows we lack self control? Wives please, just love on your husband. If you’re having trouble in your marriage I would defiantly recommend doing the Fire Proof challenge. Even if you just start by simply touching your husband more often and showing affection.  Don’t go looking for pleasure elsewhere, be happy with who you married and love them as God loves you (and them for that matter).  We have to stop whatever it is that is happening, because I see this world turning into one big Sodom and Gomorrah.  

Don't say that....Speaking Negatively

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12

After reading this I made it my goal to not talk negatively about my husband, in any way. And when I put the effort in, I really began to notice everyone around me saying heartbreaking things about their significant other. On Facebook, it’s constantly wives/girlfriends putting down husbands/boyfriends. My thought is, maybe if we didn’t do these things publicly, maybe they would change (self-fulfilled prophecy??).

As a wife, you’re not suppose to talk negatively about your husband, unless you are getting Christian advice from the wives of the church. Even then you are getting advice not bashing your husband. When I first read this part of Proverbs, it really hit me. I could literally hear all the negative, nagging things I had said about my husband to other people. oh he doesn’t do the dishes enough…,today he just sat and did nothing….,I’m so tired of…., and on and  on and on.

As I began to write this and develop it in my head, I was getting text about ‘I do it better’, it’s easier if I do it because he doesn’t know what he’s doing’. Maybe we need to take the time to teach them so they CAN do things better (this is if you like your house cleaned or things done a certain way. Like most of us, but it’s for good reason…right ladies?) =)

It’s now my goal to only lift my husband up when talking about him, unless I’m getting motherly, Christian advice from my amazing mother-in-law.  Even then, I need advice, so I shouldn’t be just putting him down.

When we were getting married, I got the advice of, “Never talk negatively or at all about your husband to your girlfriends”. At the time I thought she was crazy..who was I going to rant too? Never did it occur to me to talk to him (Hey I was 20 when we got married, young and dumb anyone?) But now that I’m a lot wiser (hahahahaha) I understand. See in Proverbs 31:23 it says, “Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders.”  You see when you talk badly about your husband, when you tear him down piece by piece, it changes how other people see him. My girlfriends don’t have a private relationship with my husband. They know him and we all spend time together, but they base their opinion mainly off what I say.

My best example of this is a friend I had who also complained about her husband. I only ever heard bad things about him and how he was treating her badly. After a while I realized that I didn’t really like him, due to how he treated her, and I didn’t even know him. I met him like a hand full of times, THAT’S CRAZY!!!

This doesn’t just work for when you publicly talk about your husband, you have to build him up in private it too.  I HAVE to work on this. Often times he tries to help me around the house, or do something for me and I get irritated because it’s not done how I WANT it to be done. I’m constantly reminding myself that it will get done, he’s doing it, and in his own way. I HAVE to make myself walk away and let him do it, because when I come in nagging and tearing down how he’s doing something, it makes him feel badly. It makes him feel like he’s not good enough to do something and that I don’t trust him to get it done. That’s horrible, I don’t want him to feel that way.

When I was pregnant with our daughter my husband lost his job. At the time I wasn’t working and being 5 months pregnant, I knew I wouldn’t get a job good enough for us to continue living on our own. We ended up back at my parents house (not  fun!). He didn’t know what to do and was really struggling emotionally. I tried my best to be supportive of him and what he wanted to do. Finally he decided he wanted to go back to school. I worked my butt off supporting him; giving him words of encouragement, trying to build him up, and having a job while he figured things out. The better a man feels about himself, the better everything else in his life will be. When he started to feel better about himself and really put in the effort (because I constantly gave him words to life him up, to keep him going), he got the job he wanted.

PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND!!!! That is the BEST advice I can give you. Always pray for your husband, because he needs help in every aspect of him life, just as you need help in every aspect of your own life.

Often times in movies and media, it's the mans job to do sweet things and build up the confidence of the girl. Have you ever tried doing those sweet things for your husband instead? If you want to try something do what I call smiles. I do these for my husband all the time. I write "SMILE... because you're loved, you're the best husband ever...or what ever you want. I will put them in his pants when I fold them and put them away so he gets surprised. I put them in his truck or lunch bag. For fathers day I'm making my husband one of those book things made from a deck of cards. I'll do 52 thank you notes and put a clip on them. When ever he feels unappreciated, he'll know some of the things I appreciate him for. Anything to give him a little encouragement and make him feel better about himself and everything he does for our family (which is A LOT).

If you want to talk about your husband, try talking to him first. I promise something will come of it.

Hope you enjoyed. Please let me know....no really!!! Even if you didn't like it, let me know. And if you want more ideas on doing little things like the smiles, let me know. I have a ton...seriously

The Submissive Wife

Ephesians  5: 22-24
     For wives, this means submit to your husband as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Colossians 3:18
       Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

 Proverbs 31 doesn't come out and say that one should be a submissive wife. In fact I don't think it says that at all, although through the actions of a Godly wife, she is being submissive. This is were my journey really started and is something I continuously work on.

The first time I heard that a Godly wife was submissive I almost freaked, of course this was before I had read what the Bible says. Before I read the Bible I had this worldly view of being submissive. And I won't lie, some BDSM romance novel came to mind. That is not what I wanted out of my marriage, to be told what to do and become some type of slave (no pun intended). Ew No!

I think when people hear "you should submit to your husband" they have one of two reactions, and both are at opposite ends of the extreme.

One extreme is the "I man. You do as i says." Very cave man like if you ask me, and yes I know a few guys like this. In fact I have a close friend that is in a relationship like this. She does everything simply because 'she's the women, that's her job' and it doesn't work. Not because she doesn't want to do it but because it hurts her feels and degrades her. This is everywhere in society, no matter how hard women fight to have equality, men are still seen as being in charge (and I'm not saying women shouldn't be equal). This doesn't just go for husbands, but fathers to children also. I've seen my biological father punish my younger sisters 'because you did wrong and I'm the man of the house. I say your in trouble....'. Yes WE understand but sometimes a little respect, explanation, and appreciation goes a long ways. Husbands, she probably wouldn't mind doing things, not because she's the women and that's her place, but because you show appreciation and reward her for doing so much.

My Mother was raised in the south. She was raised with this attitude that the man decides everything no questions asked and you do as your father says because he's the man no questions asked. Having the rebellious streak she has, she went the opposite end of things. The extreme of the independent women. She told me growing up that I shouldn't depend on a man. For emotional support, for money, for absolutely nothing. I should be able to take care of myself, and if I have a man in my life great, but also be able to care for yourself if he leaves.

This is everywhere in society!!! Music about I'm the women and I get to choose. I don't need you. In movies you see where women don't need a man. Why be tied down when I can have my freedom and sex at the same time? We encourage our young ladies to get an education and then settle down and have children. Because what? Education is suppose to be more important? Why can't I get an education and be married? Why can't I work and be an amazing wife? I think YOU can do it all, if you set your mind to it and it is in Gods plans for you.

What happened to the balance of both? I take care of myself and I could financially if I had to but I also depend on my husband a lot and I let him be the deciding factor in almost everything.

You see, I'm aiming to be a better wife in the eye of God. For God, for my husband and so my children know what it is and what it looks like to be a Godly wife. I submit and by this I mean I take care of my house, which means my husband. I cook, clean, and everything else that runs the house. I'm not saying he can't help or do these things but Wives we have to take the responsibility. If you have to work, that's okay, you can still do these things and work. In Proverbs it talks about waking up at dawn and working into the wee hours of the night. It says in verse 17, "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker". It's hard but I promise you can do it.

I love to hear my husband say, "the house looks nice babe" when he gets home from work. I love when he goes to make his lunch for work, and it's already made for him. I love to do anything that pleases him, because the happiness I see is plenty of a reward (sometimes I even get a foot rub).

Submitting isn't just about the physical aspect of caring for your husband, but also letting him lead in the choices you make as a household. This is where great communication comes in. We have been together for eight years and it's still hard sometimes. When I'm making choices on where the money goes, if we should have another child, or maybe get a dog; I always discuss them with my husband. When I'm making plans, I'll run it by him to see if that's okay. ALWAYS seeing what he thinks and wants to do. If he says "No Megan we are not getting a dog", then we aren't getting a dog. Of course he always explains and there is a lot more going on then just a simple no, but you get the point. All this doesn't mean that you can't say no. I always give my opinion and if I really don't want to do something I'll let him know.

I love to please my husband. I love letting him be the man to make decisions. We have a great relationship that has lasted eight years and is still going strong. This is were I started on my journey to becoming a Godly wife. I feel this is an easy place to start. You can begin by doing little things, like making his lunch the night before so he can take it to work, or doing one more chore then you usually do. Do something that might make him happy, just because. We as women need to stop trying to 'wear the pants in the relationship' and let the husband lead. Once I stopped trying to wear the pants, everything started to get better, in my relationship and in myself.

We were made FOR the man, let him come first as he always has, and serve him.

I hope you enjoyed my rant and I hope you let me know what you think. I would like to continue these and my journey to being a Godly wife. It is a never ending journey but I know that I will fail. I can only pray that God helps me through it. I would also love to hear stories or answer any questions.